All the Time in the World


If I may choose, I would like to have all the time in the world! I know it's kinda' tricky since time can be your frenemy but if I have a chance to love more, to laugh more, to spread kindness more, to be with my loved ones more, to see the world more, to enjoy live more, or even to shop more maybe?! HOHOHO .. I would say yes, to have all the time in the world!

It's been a week since my parents went back to Indonesia and I already miss the coffee aroma that my father brew every morning and afternoon. You know just the instant coffee powder, not the fancy one with processor or whatsoever ... Well, I don't drink coffee myself and neither do Abang but there's something homey and warm with the smell of fresh brewed coffee. Bottom line, I do miss my parents! And yes, I'm really suck with separation .. Jauh kangen tapi kalo deket suka gemes! What a relationship! Kinda like love-hate relationship but of course the love percentage is way much more .. So another yes to have all the time in the world to be with them ... 

What if life doens't go as we want it? Do we still want to have all the time in the world? Or we want time just to fly as fast as it could just like that ... Lately life has been quite a roller coaster journey and giving us lots of surprises and it makes me think more about life! And time is inclusive by default!

According to the apps, our second baby should be around 10 - 11 weeks by now. We were so thrilled knowing that we're expecting the second one and couldn't wait to share with our family and friends about this good news. We have arranged a family dinner back then in Jakarta to share this news but apparently I had bleeding earlier on that day. It never happen before while I was carrying Gide so I was quite shock and it was the heavy flow kind of bleeding, not the spotting type ...

Cut the story short, we went to the hospital to get checked, asking for any gynae who was available at that moment. According to the doctor, I had a miscarriage due to the "imperfect conception or ovulation", please pardon my medical lingo. I opted for medicine over curette for the afterwards medical procedure ...  

We went home heartbroken! We were hugging and crying, grieving for the loss of our future child .. but we agree and believe that God knows the best for us though the reality said different ... "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" 

Would I still want to have all the time in the world? ...

Later on that week, I heard that Py, one of my fellow blogger friends lost his dad and few days ago another shocking news came in telling that Inge passed away due to lung cancer that caused her lack of oxygen while she was 27 weeks pregnant ... I scrolled her Instagram feed, reading trough her blog, looking at the conversation chat I had with her and I couldn't hold my tears ... I was talking to Fab and May on that day and we agreed that somehow we (blogger) "grow up" reading each other's blog and now knowing she's no longer with us it's just another heartbroken moment .. to see your loved ones no longer with you ...

On the other hand, our first born was so excited to have his third birthday celebration! "Gide mau celebration! Hooray! Nanti Gide ga boleh malu kan pas blow candle ya, semua nanti sing happy birthday" He's been saying that over and over and looking the smile on his face, I know what I want is all the time in the world! To see him grow healthy and happy ...

Speaking of time, I had this convo with my friend trough WA talking about how restless we were back then, you know school, guys, and stuff and I came across to ask her whether she wish she could turn back time and both of us agreed if only we could turn back time though it will never happen ... And here we are in our 30s laughing and a lil bit cursing for what we've done during our teens! Oh well!

A passage from the Ecclesiastes saying that there's time for everything ... Therefore trough all what has been happening I'm being reminded once again to really seize the moment, to cherish the togetherness with our loved ones coz you can't turn back time ... To appreciate more, to be more humble coz at the end of the day each and everyone of us are basically queuing for our turn to be called back if you know what I mean, and thus the queue numbers are in random order ...

Instead of having all the time in world, maybe I would say whenever I sill got the chance in this world ....

Comments

  1. Sorry to hear about your loss.. but i believe God will give you another one in His time.. And yup gw juga kaget en sedih banget tentang Inge.. ga nyangka banget en terutama gw kasian sama suami en anak2 yang ditinggalinnya.. apalagi gw liat tahun lalu di ig nya dia lagi hepi2 banget gt ke eropa sama ke lombok.. eh tau2 dah ga ada aja orangnya sekarang :(

    setuju memang we have to seize the moment we had karena kita ga akan pernah tahu kan ya kapan waktu kita..

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    1. thanks rol :) yup yup His time is better :) iyaaa sedih banget gw jugaaaa .. gw berdoa supaya keluarga semua dikasih kekuatan

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  2. So sorry to hear about your miscarriage Gil


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