8 Things I've Learned from 8 Years of (our) Marriage

"Wiiii, next week we're celebrating our 8 year anniversary"
"And we survive!"
"High five dulu donk!"
"HAHAHA .. We manage not to kill each other!"
"Almost!!!!"
"HAHAHAHA"

Can you guess which one which! Aha! HOHOHO :)

circa 2012

This week, my husband and I are celebrating our 8 years of marriage and geez time really flies! It goes the same way with my jawline HAHAHA ... Btw, I'm getting it back for sure! My jawline! *crossing my fingers* Terus terdengar nada cemooh dari suami, "Ga olahraga ya mana bisa toh, Gee!" .... Ya kan dimulai dari niat dulu begitu ceritanya! Eh tapi ini koq mendadak agak laper ya, apa goreng risol dulu aja ya buat nangsel?! H E L L O, apa kabar jawline?! HAHAHA ;)

Kalo bilang 8 tahun rasanya seperti baru kemaren koq boong banget ya! Apa kabar itu cerita - cerita bodor di blog ini, terus apa kabar si Gide yang ga brenti ngoceh sama ngemil mulu?! HAHAHA ...  Berasa banget kalo kawinnya bukan baru kemaren, kakaknya! .. Tapi kalo dibilang selama 8 tahun ini masih terus belajar untuk mengenal pasangan, jawabannya iya banget coz we all know life, including marriage is a never ending learning process. Wong baru aja tadi kita abis berargumen lagi soal ga penting. Ya gitu deh! HOHOHO ...

Let me celebrate our wedding anniversary by writing 8 Things I've Learned from 8 Years of (our) Marriage ;)

#1 He (still) can't read my mind after all these years 
.. and somehow he refuses too also! Kyaaa!!! No matter how long you have been together, feels like knowing the other party inside out, know their habits, still you or at least us still can't really know exactly what your spouse thinking or feeling at all points in time. Kalo kata Abang, "Loe kata gw cenayang?!" ... Maunya gitu yak! Jadi kalo aku lagi merajuk gitu atau sok ngambek langsung dibaekin! Ngelunjak yang ada ntar jadinya! HOHOHO ... In other words, a good and healthy communication plays a big role in every relationships, especially when it comes to your own marriage, though sometimes I still wish he just can read my mind like that! Teteup!!! Komunikasi adalah koentji! *wink*

#2 ... but we can finish each other's sentences somehow!
IKR! Dalam beberapa hal kita memang seperti air dan minyak, tapi kalo untuk urusan yang bodor - bodor, kita ini bagai pinang dibelah dua. Sebelas dua belas! HAHAHA ... I think that's one of the things that keep our marriage life alive, kebodoran! It much needed in my honest opinion after living under the same roof and room with the same person for past eight years. Apalah artinya kami tanpa jokes retjeh?! HAHAHA ... Beside communication, humor plays big parts in our marriage life since we know that life is meant to be enjoy and we take it seriously. Seriously fun!!! And to some extend cuma kita yang ngerti kenapa suatu hal bisa lucu banget terus ngikik - ngikik ga jelas berduaan! HOHOHO ..

#3 We're (most likely) agree to disagree 
.. and we talk about it! Or sometimes after I'm done being bitchy and cool our heads down, we sit, talk, and find the best solution for our disagreement. Sometimes it takes minutes, sometimes it takes hours, but at the end of the day we both know that we have to resolve it. We both realize that we came from different family background, habits, perspective but in the name of love and commitment, you just need to expand your heart and head to embrace the differences and work things out as one team coz you're no longer two but one already! Ngetik lebih gampang emang daripada ngejalanin apalagi ada faktor anak sulung dengan kepribadian keras but that's why it's called marriage after all. Kalo kata pakar itu konflik yang sehat begitu ceritanya. Kalo kata saya, emang pas lagi ga dong aja dua - duanya HAHAHA ..

#4 The 5 love languages
.. that I tend to forget ;) I still remember during our pre-marital class we are asked to write our own love language and share it with our other half. The objectives are basically to know ourselves and our spouse better so we can maximize our marriage life. I realize as time goes by that sometimes I take him for granted and forget about his love language. Ingetnya tuh udah makin sama aja kayak saya! Padahal ya dia tetaplah dia, kenapa disama - samain kayak saya .. Suka sok ide emang anaknya! HOHOHO .. But again and again, I have to remind myself what's my husband's love language and I'm doing it not because I have to but I'm doing it because I love him and I want him to be happy. Another thing that I also learn that our love languages can change over time and back to point number numero uno, communication is the key :) 

#5 There were us before the kid(s)
... therefore we have to put our spouse first before the kids. That's the theory and it's supposed to go that way all the time but in fact, when the kids step in it goes the other way around. Saya ga tau gimana buibuk yang laen tapi saya ngerasa lebih sering banyak ketiduran duluan sejak ada Gide dan ibaratnya meninggalkan si suami seorang diri saja nonton TV di sofa .. Sejujurnya ada rasa bersalah karena "menelantarkan" suami tapi kadang begitu ketemu kasur koq rasanya kayak melepas rindu sama kekasih yang abis LDR-an gitu HAHAHA ... We are struggling about this as well frankly speaking coz we know a good and healthy relationship of the father and mother is the basic of healthy and happy family. Sekali lagi saya dan Abang harus terus mengingatkan diri sendiri kalo pasangan itu urutannya di atas anak dan we gotta to do whatever it needs to do to keep our relationship alive, not just a routine. Apapun lah segala cara kami halalkan demi menjaga api asmara ini, seperti speed dating nonton ke bioskop pas Gide sekolah atau sekedar nonton di rumah, atau ngobrol - ngobrol ga jelas, makan indomie bersama juga hayuk lah! HOHOHO ...

#6 Mine not yours, yours not mine 
... so stop comparing coz comparison is the thief of joy! True enough! Every marriage is different, ya iyalah yang jalanin aja beda jadi udah pasti gimana jalaninnya juga beda, value yang ada beda, tapi ya itu esensi pernikahan kita dan bukan orang lain. The grass on the other side seems to look greener but you never know whether it's artificial or real, and even it's real your neighbour still need to lawn the grass anyway. Pernah dibahas di group buibuk tentang spesies suami apakah termasuk spesies 1 yang masukkin baju kotor ke keranjangnya atau spesies 2 yang udah ada keranjang kotor masih aja itu baju tergeletak di lantai ... First world problem HAHAHA ... Ya kita buat lucu - lucuan sih sekalian curcol eeeehhh ... cuma balik lagi ya menikah itu pilihan yang mana pasangan kita pun ya pilihan kita juga jadi ya ada unsur nerimo di dalamnya, ya walopun kadang ada unsur nyesek cuma saya ngerasa kita juga harus belajar buat introspeksi diri, ga cuma komplem atau protes terus kerjanya. Instead of comparing, why don't we grateful for what we have and create our own happiness! Sounds cliche but being happy is also a choice that we have to make! Setuju kakaknya?! ;)

#7 MMA
It stands for Minor Major Apply love! Something minor happen just close your eyes, but when something major that can risk your loved one's life you just to do something about it but no matter what it is don't forget to apply love in every single things you do coz lalalalalaff is the greatest thing of all. Tapi ini beneran loh, kadang kalo kita terlalu sibuk ngurusin hal - hal kecil yang ga penting terus malah jadi gede terus malah ga jadi karuan, jadi selama itu bukan hal yang signifikan dan membahayakan ada baiknya ya merem aja ... Kalo dalam kasus saya itu saya suka gemes kenapa kalo aer di botol abis bukannya diisi tapi botol kosognya tetep dimasukkin kulkas, gemes kan! Tapi ya udah lah, small matter tinggal saya isi penuhin lagi terus masukkin kulkas beres daripada saya ngomel - ngomel HAHAHA ... Tapi saya juga tau sih ada aja kebiasaan saya yang juga suka get into his nerves, jadi kesimpulannya ya itu MMA ;)


#8 Treat your marriage as God's, not yours
Last but not least, petuah emas dari suami saya keluar lagi .. I shared earlier in my previous post regarding this matter and let me remind myself again that our marriage is not ours but God's and I have the full accountability to God for what I'm doing to make this relationship in a right track including becoming a better version of myself, a better wife for Abang, a better mother for my kids. Not trying to be a super mom or super wife, but always do my best to become a better version of me!

I'm not the love expert here! I leave that title for the trolls .. you know from the movie Frozen! Kalo masih ga ngeh juga, ya boleh coba ditonton lagi si let it go let it go itu HOHOHO ...I just sharing what I've learned so far and yet I still have so much to learn. Andaikan pernikahan kayak masak indomie ya! HAHAHA ...

Anyway, we went for our annual staycation to celebrate this milestones and of course Gide come along as usual, but this time we have additional member to join us which none other than our latest addition to the family; our 14 weeks bundle of joy in my tummy! Yes! We're expecting our second child HOHOHO ... God is so so so good to us! Our gynae said, "You don't expect to see me that fast, do you?!" Apparently I was already around 2 weeks pregnant during our Europe trip ... So yeah, Gide is promoted to become a big brother next year and we're promoted to become parents of two! HOHOHO ... Thank you for all the love, pray, and support that you've given to our family ... Cheers to level up! ;)

Comments

  1. as always, I always get a little something here and there from your blogpost! I love how it didn't slap me hard yet it found a way to tug something inside me and reminded me things that I (sometimes, or most of the times, lol) forgot and or took for granted. AND YIPPIE YAY for that little bundle of joy :) (macem baru tau banget aja lippp hahaha)

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    1. ah cece! bikin aku jadi terharu ajaaa dipuji begitu hahaha :) and thank you again, .. thanks to your vigilant eyes hahahaha ;)

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  2. akhirnya diumumkan juga.... happy anniversary ya gill... semoga kalian selalu diberkati Tuhan, dan kehamilannya sehat2 terus ampe lahiran nanti...

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  3. awww, happy anniversary. seneng banget baca ceritanyaaa :) dan selamat datang baby di perut. Sehat2 sampe lahiran yaa :)

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  4. gide masih secret gak nihh dedeknya? hehehe. sehat2 ya gill! always love your post!

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  5. Huaaahhhh!!! selamat ya Gil! semoga hamil nya lancar aman jaya! and Happy Anniversary too for you and your man!

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